“We The Living” is about a struggle of three individuals in Soviet Russia. Ayn Rand claims that the heroin inherits all the philosophical ideas from her.
In the beginning of the book, Kira was my model. She did not care about anyone but herself. She walked the path which would make her happy. She denounced society because according to her, oneself always comes first. The highest reverence of man is himself. Selfishness is a virtue.
A few chapters later, I lost interest on Kira. She contradicted herself because she fell in love. Her love affair(s) is unconventional. So what? She attached herself to another and that created a “society”. This is the beginning of her downfall and she never rose back.
I have been attempting to detach myself completely from everything — emotions, society, etc. I had the opportunity to complete the task 4 years ago. I also had another opportunity 5 months ago. Both opportunities were shattered by an emotion that everyone seeks and what caused Kira her downfall.
Once a man is detached, he shall live life like a comatose. So far, I have devised three phases in order to achieve complete detachment: (1) detach yourself from blood, (2) detach yourself from love, and (3) detach yourself from dependence. I shall explain each one.
Detachment from blood means to extract yourself from your family and relatives. This does not mean casting out of the house (you will do this in the third phase). What I meant here is to not care what happens to the family. You shouldn’t feel grief, envy, jealousy regarding the family. This may be the hardest because you grew up attuned to this form of collective. It’s the basic form of society — family.
Detachment from love means to not be in love with anybody. This is difficult as well because the emotions playing here are very enigmatic. However, this is the only phase where you have to overcome something that’s not inherent. It’s injected. It’s poison to selfishness. Total self control is needed in this phase. Strong will to resist external temptation is a must.
Detachment from dependence is not exactly independence. Independence is the result, but is not the task. This is the most difficult of the three because you will have to abandon all connections. You will no longer depend on others in order to live. You will not have a job, acquaintances, connection to the world. You will be completely alone.
The first phase, I have partially completed. There are still stray emotions I need to sort out. The second phase, I should have the full control in this. For now, I can’t say I have this taken care of. Lastly, I need to save in order to accomplish the third phase. I have a long way to go… What about you?
June 1st, 2008
Taken from We The Living, Chapter 9:
“Do you believe in God, Andrei?”
“No.”
“Neither do I. But that’s a favorite question of mine. An upside-down question, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if I asked people whether they believed in life, they’d never understand what I meant. It’s a bad question. It can mean so much that it really means nothing. So I ask them if they believe in God. And if they say they do — then, I know they don’t believe in life.”
“Why?”
“Because you see, God — whatever anyone chooses to call God — is one’s highest conception of the highest possible. And whoever places his highest conception above his own possibility thinks very little of himself and his life. It’s a rare gift, you know, to feel reverence for your own life and to want the best, the greatest, the highest possible, here, now, for your very own. To imagine a heaven and then not to dream of it, but to demand it.”
“You’re a strange girl.”
“You see, you and I, we believe in life. But you want to fight for it, to kill for it, even to die — for life. I only want to live it.”
I always believe that satisfying oneself now should be the only task a man should have. Also, the task may be acted upon in any way he sees fit. That is living the life for me.
May 13th, 2008
While I was watching the opening for Eat Bulaga! today, I was reminded of my high school days back in the Philippines. Back then, we had a subject wherein we did skits every Fridays on a given topic. It’s a civics class, so the topics relate to morals and ethics. But that’s not the point of this entry.
How did EB’s opening remind me of those years? Well, for me Wally Bayola of the duo Jose & Wally is really funny and talented, but for the love of __the_name_of_your_Almighty__ he needs to take his assignments seriously. Today, he & Jose performed together with Jeepney Joyride and I swear Wally was just moving his lips not knowing the lyrics of the song. It’s not the first time either. Every time he sings he doesn’t know the lyrics of the song. It’s a live band so there’s no way he can lip-sync. In dancing, I know he’s good at it, but it seems he never practices the steps. In skits, he forgets what he’s supposed to do. It’s been going on for years and this really makes his talent go to waste. And I like him over Jose.
Still how did it remind me of those years? When we’re doing our skits, we often forget our lines and reminding me of those years is just fascinating. It was just like yesterday and now we are all over the world with some of us having families already. It’s amazing how time goes and reminds us of what happened. We did plenty in those years. We did a concert using primitive instruments which our ancestors used way back before the Spaniards colonized us. I never had that experience when I went to high school in New York. I even joined a pageant in my Freshmen year. We only had about 12 boys in our section and we all had to join or else we fail. Now that I think of it, if I had the knowledge I have now, I would have gotten out of that show easily. I hope this entry doesn’t remind someone to search their albums for pictures of the event because it will be a freakin’ nightmare for all of us.
What’s the moral of my story? If you are given a task, be prepared. If you are forced to do extra-curricular activities and is threatened to be failed if you did not join, sue them. That’s why it’s called extra-curricular because it’s not mandatory – not part of the curriculum. Everytime I remember that event, it drives me nuts. I can still remember my outfit, my talent, etc. I’m pathetic as always.
April 22nd, 2008
Eee PC comes with XandrOS distro of Linux, therefore the way I access my network files is different than when I’m using Windows. Fortunately, there is a system called the Network File System (NFS). First generation of WD Netcenter are NFS enabled, but my recent acquisition — the MyBook World Edition — is not NFS enabled. Therefore I have to do the dirty work before I can access my audio/video files from my half-terabyte hard drive. The following are the steps I went through before successfully accomplishing the task:
- SSH Access in MyBook WE
- MyBook WE as NFS Server
- Mount the path:
mount mybook_ip:/shares/internal /mnt -o rw
That’s all folks!
December 23rd, 2007
Someone told me that thinking too much and most especially deep thoughts causes my inability to gain weight. The person didn’t even know that it is my hobby to think deeply about things around us. Now, in an attempt to gain a few pounds and flesh, I’m trying not to think deeply besides from eating proper food regularly and having regular sleeping hours. It may be a yearlong struggle, but I will do my best.
In addition, few changes personally will be undertaken in the upcoming year. Though not strictly, a more discipline me will arise. I’ll try to learn more things and not slack on projects I’m assigning myself. I will try to save for a major project that I’m planning and will also document here once the plan is finalized. More importantly I guess than saving is to fid a way to earn which in itself is a huge udertaking I will have to face. I hope to geet a second paying job even though it’s only part-time.
Could this qualify as a New Year’s Resolution? I tend to not fulfill NYRs, so I’ll admit this isn’t it. This is more of a personal challenge more than anything else. I’ve already fufilled the first step which is to personally detach myself to anyone. By detaching myself, I can have no excuses and be more concentrated on the task at hand.
December 21st, 2007
