a record of thoughts

It is undeniable that we live in a material world. Possession fuels mankind. Possession causes reactions within the system. Unconditional relationship is somewhat a form of possession because binding oneself to another is a form of ownership. The most obvious form of possession would be financial — monetary, real assets, etc. It has become a lifetime struggle for a person to possess financial stability which is an impossible feat. It is impossible because just like what Puff Daddy & Ma$e rhymed, “Mo money, mo problem.” Man has no sense of satisfaction.

Possession is the root of all problems. Then man would dream of wealth, now man dreams of a simple life. The latter would be as much of a struggle as the former. It would be most rewarding if one lives a simple life, but that means liberty from society and that is not an easy thing to do. Since man is naturally possessive, stripping himself of all possessions would lead him to succumb to despair.

Freedom from the grasp of the possessive nature of man is the second phase towards detachment. There are two ways to achieve the feat: wealth and surrender. Wealth and self-control would be a great combination into dissing society. The effect would be paradoxical, but effective. It is not an easy task to be wealthy or have self-control. Either one is a task that takes a lifetime to master.

The easiest  way to muster the hurdle of the second phase would be a surrender. That is to surrender oneself from being possessive. That is, furthermore, to totally abstain from possessing. Not even meditation is accepted because it still leaves a fingerprint of possession. Hermitage would be the perfect example. It is not impossible to relocate oneself to an utterly remote location that has fertile land. There the hermit can cultivate, grow and create only the necessities.

Attaining a simple life is hypocrisy because in reality, one can only live a simple life after he accumulates wealth. One may say that their lifestyle is average and thus simple. That is a lie because one works not to maintain, but to gain.

“We The Living” is about a struggle of three individuals in Soviet Russia. Ayn Rand claims that the heroin inherits all the philosophical ideas from her.

In the beginning of the book, Kira was my model. She did not care about anyone but herself. She walked the path which would make her happy. She denounced society because according to her, oneself always comes first. The highest reverence of man is himself. Selfishness is a virtue.

A few chapters later, I lost interest on Kira. She contradicted herself because she fell in love. Her love affair(s) is unconventional. So what? She attached herself to another and that created a “society”. This is the beginning of her downfall and she never rose back. (more…)

Sunday. Boredom struck me. I was in the verge of depression – I may as well have been. I tried to sleep it off, but I can’t. My eyes are being pulled inside, yet I can’t keep them closed. Thoughts are empty, yet I feel tireless. I wanted to get out and watch a movie, but nothing is worth watching these past few weeks. Rented movies are too depressing and mind boggling. My mind’s not in the mood to think. Nothing on TV worth watching. Nobody worth talking to. I can’t write. Paranoid. I felt like ending. (more…)