I’m Back

I’m back in New York. It feels like I’ve been gone for more than six days. Now I’m in my comfort zone. I have nothing left to say, except a few pictures I’m going to parade below. Visit the photos page for more. I didn’t capture much. I’m a lazy bummer when it comes to photography.

The Rockies (British Columbia)

The Prairie (Manitoba)

1 comment June 28th, 2008

Tech Support

A (pretty much) summary of my technical encounter with Directv technical support specialists. I am a technical support specialist myself and I know the feeling. Sometimes I just give up on problems because it’s difficult talking to someone on the other end when they are doing something different you’re asking them to do. It’s difficult being blind because that’s how you feel when you are supporting someone over the phone.

Continue Reading Add comment June 13th, 2008

Lines From Lyrics

The second batch of lyrical lines that I’ve picked from my playlist. It took me more than a week to complete this batch. I’m not as inspired as the last one I guess. That’s the problem when you are reading while listening. You have to give the book priority.

Deep in my heart
There’s no room for crying
But I’m trying to see your point of view
- My Eyes, Travis

As I’ve said in my past entries, I am not an avid fan of Travis’ music, but rather the band’s style. Only thing though about them is that few of their songs either describes me or describes my philosophy. These lines describes my emotions. I keep them inside and I never really pour them out on someone. I pour them out on music most of the time. If I’m soundtripping loudly, it means I’m letting out a steam. It’s quite healthy really. Yeah, that’s it — I keep everything to myself. You’ll probably notice this on the demeanor on my face.

He pulled a gun from his jacket
He said I was going to die

It gives me so much satisfaction
To watch you beg and cry.

I just made up this story
To get your attention makes me smile.

- I Stopped To Fill My Car Up, Stereophonics

I enjoy listening to this song because it brings me into the story. Kelly Jones is a superb storyteller indeed. The lines above is a literal cry for attention — and it’s a good one at that. I especially like the last line. I would be considered anti-social, yet crying for attention. Aren’t we all? If I could play a goddamn guitar (which I’m sure I won’t because I have nervous coordination issues) I would be playing this song over and over again.

There’s things I want
There’s things I think I want
There’s things I’ve had
There’s things I wanna have
Do I want the dreams?
The ones we’re forced to see
Do I want the perfect wife?
The word perfect ain’t quite right

…

I’m just looking
I’m not buying
I’m just looking
Keeps me smiling

- Just Looking, Stereophonics

This is the first Stereophonics song that I heard and I’ve been a fan ever since, collecting all their albums. I think that the lines above has put what’s real and what’s not into words. I’m not sure yet if I’m just looking. Am I trying to grasp or am I just standing on the curb watching things pass by. It’s fascinating to not know what is real and what isn’t. Something so simple, yet if we stop and ponder we would be in a limbo trying to figure the thing out.

Cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
- Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy

The lines above are for Mai. The song isn’t. Only the lines. My mind is filled with her images when I’m conscious. If you want her out of my mind, you have to knock me unconscious, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be in my dreams.

Add comment May 18th, 2008

Short Term Absence

I had a short term absence online, if anyone noticed. I did it intentionally because nothing was coming out of my head, except the back entries that I will be posting tonight.They were posted offline in my i-touch-nothing-happens. I installed an offline WP there so that I can write directly through there and I don’t have to re-format my entries when I’m publishing online. Before my word processing software was formatting the entries when I copy & paste.

I vowed to halt my presence in the world wide web for a week. I didn’t even check if I had comments for moderation. I was going to reinstate my presence on Monday, but a slew of ideas came into my head and I didn’t want to lose them, so I’m writing this now while I’m on the ferry.

For some reason, I feel relieved from anger and all the negative thoughts that’s why I’m able to write again. I was reading so much of Ayn Rand that I realized I was bashing society so much. It is as if I’m emphasizing society, thus giving it more importance. Well, I’ll lay low on that topic for now. I was thinking of writing about emotions, especially pain. I heard a Dolores O’riordan song and it inspired me to personify pain and destruction. I don’t think I can, but I’ll think something along the way that’ll satisfy my urge to write about it.

Add comment May 15th, 2008

Right or Wrong?

There is a universal law governing our daily lives. That law is the concept of right and wrong. We live our daily lives trying to be a better person by doing what is right. We navigate our lives toward righteousness. The question is “what is right and what is wrong?” Furthermore, “who decides what is right and what is wrong?” I will attempt to put my logic into words and the values I set to myself. Beware of the absurdity I may induce.

What is right and what is wrong is relative to who decides them. Therefore, the questions I posed should be contracted into one because one can’t be answered without touching the other. It is us who decides what is right and what is wrong based on the values we set to ourselves. If I value differently compared to another, my sense of what is right could be wrong to another. Preserving your values makes that act of preservation right.

A value is something (an object, emotion, etc.) that satisfies the happiness of man or guides the man’s pursuit of happiness. An individual is defined by the value he sets to himself. That is why having people in one place is never peaceful. They vary their values and thus create conflicts. Naturally speaking, man lives for himself. Think about your priorities; it always simplifies to I. A very good example would be a competition. I would cheer for a group where I belong, then I would cheer to who is closer to me, then to the closest and eventually I would cheer for myself against the rest.

Righteousness is always related to its host. Let’s say that man values an object that he doesn’t have, but another has it. The object is of critical significance towards attaining man’s happiness. However, the only way to acquire that object is by taking possession of it from another – assuming it is very rare to find because it’s only one of its kind. To man acquiring that object from another is a path to righteousness because by acquiring that object would yield to his happiness.

On the other hand, the other would see man’s action as wrong because to him that is theft. So here, we see one act perceived differently by different entities. Unfortunately for man, society is governed. The state of nature is controlled. His act would be branded as wrong. A man’s happiness is constrained by society. Again, my view on society’s direct denial of man’s eternal bliss is shown here. Man should be an island.

Religion exists based on the concept of right and wrong. If you live your life righteously, then you would go to an afterlife where everything is beautiful, otherwise you go to an afterlife of eternal suffrage. unlike most of the people, I believe I have neither a sin nor have sinned. I live my life according to the values I set for myself and have to always satisfy those values, ergo making me righteous. Does that mean I’m going to “heaven?” That’s another topic I must cover. Afterlife is a subject I have the greatest interest because it is the ony answer to all the questions.

Add comment May 7th, 2008