Spring Has Come

Do you ever have something in a year that just has to come and makes your life a mess even though it’s supposed to be celebrated? Well, aside from birthdays, Spring season which I mostly adore is the one that gives me hard time in the past few years and now. Mainly during spring it rains and I hate rains in this part of the world because umbrellas don’t serve their purpose. The wind is too strong that the rain gets into you if the wind is not able to break your umbrella. When Spring comes, allergens are everywhere and I just couldn’t stop my runny nose until early June. It’s a nightmare.

Today, it slowly started yesterday, I’m having a cold and it’ll probably develop into a flu. There’s a free flu shot ad at the Ferry Terminal, but I doubt if I’d get one. Usually if I can still handle it, I don’t take any medicines. I’m on a ferry now on my way to work and I think I’ll stop by a pharmacy to get myself some Advil because I’ll be facing my monitor all day and it’s not so good for an ill person because the radiation coming off it decreases your immune system giving way to bacteria a safer passage to your body. I know that this cold is simply the preamble to my season long allergies. I’ll be scratching and blowing my nose in the next two months.

Right now I feel like throwing up. I been feeling this since this morning when I woke up. I’m dehydrated which is a sign of a flu. I hope it doesn’t develop into something like last year when I was bedridden for a couple of days. I couldn’t stand up then and it’s so frustrating being helpless. That’s why if ever I become disabled, i would just end it there. I’ll consider it game over. Pardon the digression; now back to my feelings – since I feel like throwing up, I couldn’t eat a decent meal today. I will be avoiding spicy and heavy meals. I’ll probably have a sandwich over lunch; it’ll make choices much easier.

Speaking of lunch, do you know how much time I put into it? What I should eat? A certain amount of time is dedicated to just deciding what to eat. Not only for lunch, but if we have nothing at home it’s difficult to decide what to eat. That’s why a multiple choice quiz is never easy. It’s so fascinating to me that I waste time to decide what to eat while other people on the other side of the world are taking their time to find something to eat. I’m often criticized that I waste too much food whilst people are starving. My philosophy to this is that there is starvation and gluttony no matter what anyone does. Saving food doesn’t make a starving a child full. It’s actually a very weak philosophy, but I really don’t care about others.

2 comments April 23rd, 2008

Images Of You

I’ve been thinking of the wife, so I guess it’s about time to be romantic.

Images of you keep appearing in my mind. Every little thing you did when we were together - the way you wiggle your lips in your sleep, trying not to wake up. Keeping you from scratching your healing burns and that too. Wiping your back when you’re sweating. Your pinches from behind. Your hugs and kisses. Your bites. You feeding me.

I hope I won’t lose this feeling even though it’s too difficult for me. Missing you is the sweetest torment that I can forever partake.

Add comment April 22nd, 2008

I’m Out Of Place

Last night I saw on DVD Julie Delpy’s film “2 Days In Paris”. The film hit home. The film has so many features that I will probably miss most of them in this entry. “2 Days” is about a couple - an American and a French – who stopped over in Paris for two days on their way back to New York from Italy. The French girl was reunited with old friends and lovers. Delpy, who wrote, directed and produced this flick, brought out, in my opinion, everything that is negative about the Frenchies. But she didn’t miss the assault on America either.

What hit home really wasn’t the stereotypes. It’s the main theme which is being out of place. I have been feeling out of place these past months. “2 Days” visualized the feeling of being out of place for me. You become passive externally, but deep down inside you are in a revolution. The feeling causes paranoia, jealousy, and pessimism. Paranoia because you don’t belong in a group and thus don’t understand their ways yielding you to believe that they are not the friendlies. Jealousy comes into play and I will withhold my reasons. Pessimism arises because all you would think about are negative things. Those things won’t be visible, though. They are all kept inside you and you become passive outside as a defense mechanism. You show them that you are not out of place while you are wishing that time will come that they visit your own world and kick them where it hurts.

Watch the movie and you’ll understand my feelings.

Add comment April 18th, 2008

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