The second batch of lyrical lines that I’ve picked from my playlist. It took me more than a week to complete this batch. I’m not as inspired as the last one I guess. That’s the problem when you are reading while listening. You have to give the book priority.
Deep in my heart
There’s no room for crying
But I’m trying to see your point of view
- My Eyes, Travis
As I’ve said in my past entries, I am not an avid fan of Travis’ music, but rather the band’s style. Only thing though about them is that few of their songs either describes me or describes my philosophy. These lines describes my emotions. I keep them inside and I never really pour them out on someone. I pour them out on music most of the time. If I’m soundtripping loudly, it means I’m letting out a steam. It’s quite healthy really. Yeah, that’s it — I keep everything to myself. You’ll probably notice this on the demeanor on my face.
He pulled a gun from his jacket
He said I was going to die
It gives me so much satisfaction
To watch you beg and cry.
I just made up this story
To get your attention makes me smile.
- I Stopped To Fill My Car Up, Stereophonics
I enjoy listening to this song because it brings me into the story. Kelly Jones is a superb storyteller indeed. The lines above is a literal cry for attention — and it’s a good one at that. I especially like the last line. I would be considered anti-social, yet crying for attention. Aren’t we all? If I could play a goddamn guitar (which I’m sure I won’t because I have nervous coordination issues) I would be playing this song over and over again.
There’s things I want
There’s things I think I want
There’s things I’ve had
There’s things I wanna have
Do I want the dreams?
The ones we’re forced to see
Do I want the perfect wife?
The word perfect ain’t quite right
…
I’m just looking
I’m not buying
I’m just looking
Keeps me smiling
- Just Looking, Stereophonics
This is the first Stereophonics song that I heard and I’ve been a fan ever since, collecting all their albums. I think that the lines above has put what’s real and what’s not into words. I’m not sure yet if I’m just looking. Am I trying to grasp or am I just standing on the curb watching things pass by. It’s fascinating to not know what is real and what isn’t. Something so simple, yet if we stop and ponder we would be in a limbo trying to figure the thing out.
Cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
- Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy
The lines above are for Mai. The song isn’t. Only the lines. My mind is filled with her images when I’m conscious. If you want her out of my mind, you have to knock me unconscious, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be in my dreams.
May 18th, 2008
I had a short term absence online, if anyone noticed. I did it intentionally because nothing was coming out of my head, except the back entries that I will be posting tonight.They were posted offline in my i-touch-nothing-happens. I installed an offline WP there so that I can write directly through there and I don’t have to re-format my entries when I’m publishing online. Before my word processing software was formatting the entries when I copy & paste.
I vowed to halt my presence in the world wide web for a week. I didn’t even check if I had comments for moderation. I was going to reinstate my presence on Monday, but a slew of ideas came into my head and I didn’t want to lose them, so I’m writing this now while I’m on the ferry.
For some reason, I feel relieved from anger and all the negative thoughts that’s why I’m able to write again. I was reading so much of Ayn Rand that I realized I was bashing society so much. It is as if I’m emphasizing society, thus giving it more importance. Well, I’ll lay low on that topic for now. I was thinking of writing about emotions, especially pain. I heard a Dolores O’riordan song and it inspired me to personify pain and destruction. I don’t think I can, but I’ll think something along the way that’ll satisfy my urge to write about it.
May 15th, 2008
A listing of lines that I like from lyrics of the songs in my current playlist. The playlist in my i-touch-nothing-happens does not have a wide variety of artists. I currently have select artists/bands - Manic Street Preachers, Stereophonics, Travis, Oasis, Queens of the Stoneage, Heather Nova, Chantal Kreviazuk, A Fine Frenzy, Ryan Adams, David Gray, Badly Drawn Boy, Coldplay, Nelly Furtado, Radiohead, Damien Rice, and Robbie Williams. That’s quite a spectrum of moods in a short list.
When I’m on the move (i.e. walking) I usually have something stuck in my ears. That’s when I do most of my thinking. A line or two from a song can inspire me to write, most of the time ravings because if you have listened to these artists, then you will know where I get my confidence and confirmation to write what you may call abhorring statements. So, without further ado…
My little empire
I’m fucked with being fucked
- My Little Empire, Manic Street Preachers
That is quite a statement especially if you are being oppressed most of the time. I am clearly oppressed by thoughts and emotions. Fortunately, I have society to blame for it.
Cold, cold water
Surrounds me now
- Cold Water, Damien Rice
The song is actually religious. If I continue with the lyrics, Rice is actually saying that even if everything is not alright, he has the Lord’s presence to help him. I obviously had those lines cut-off because these are the only lines that matter to me. It’s my current state…just kidding. Well, kidding aside, I like the way Rice describes suffering in those lines.
You left me on the shelf
And now there’s no-one to rely on
But if it’s all the same to you
Here’s what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna buy a gun
Gonna shoot everything, everyone
And then I’m coming for you
‘Cos it was you that drove me to
- Last Train, Travis
Before anyone jumps into conclusion, I’m not condoning massacre. I couldn’t believe the first time I heard this - coming from Travis either. I find that these lines express helplessness and complete frustration. Why did I include this verse on the list? I guess I’m showing how comfortable I am at accepting these kinds of things. I still have sanity left in me to decide that this action is not part of my values, nor it will ever be. I may be a master at emotional torture, but physical pain is not my forte. Physical manifestation of pain towards others is against my belief because that would mean I am blatantly accepting an inevitable connection between men. My principle in life is so simple: as long as I don’t initiate physical pain to someone, then I’m preserving my values.
How about emotional pain? Emotional pain does not provide evidence of who caused the pain because there is no trail between the cause and effect. Emotion is stateless, thus there is no point of reference.
May 9th, 2008
There is a universal law governing our daily lives. That law is the concept of right and wrong. We live our daily lives trying to be a better person by doing what is right. We navigate our lives toward righteousness. The question is “what is right and what is wrong?” Furthermore, “who decides what is right and what is wrong?” I will attempt to put my logic into words and the values I set to myself. Beware of the absurdity I may induce.
What is right and what is wrong is relative to who decides them. Therefore, the questions I posed should be contracted into one because one can’t be answered without touching the other. It is us who decides what is right and what is wrong based on the values we set to ourselves. If I value differently compared to another, my sense of what is right could be wrong to another. Preserving your values makes that act of preservation right.
A value is something (an object, emotion, etc.) that satisfies the happiness of man or guides the man’s pursuit of happiness. An individual is defined by the value he sets to himself. That is why having people in one place is never peaceful. They vary their values and thus create conflicts. Naturally speaking, man lives for himself. Think about your priorities; it always simplifies to I. A very good example would be a competition. I would cheer for a group where I belong, then I would cheer to who is closer to me, then to the closest and eventually I would cheer for myself against the rest.
Righteousness is always related to its host. Let’s say that man values an object that he doesn’t have, but another has it. The object is of critical significance towards attaining man’s happiness. However, the only way to acquire that object is by taking possession of it from another – assuming it is very rare to find because it’s only one of its kind. To man acquiring that object from another is a path to righteousness because by acquiring that object would yield to his happiness.
On the other hand, the other would see man’s action as wrong because to him that is theft. So here, we see one act perceived differently by different entities. Unfortunately for man, society is governed. The state of nature is controlled. His act would be branded as wrong. A man’s happiness is constrained by society. Again, my view on society’s direct denial of man’s eternal bliss is shown here. Man should be an island.
Religion exists based on the concept of right and wrong. If you live your life righteously, then you would go to an afterlife where everything is beautiful, otherwise you go to an afterlife of eternal suffrage. unlike most of the people, I believe I have neither a sin nor have sinned. I live my life according to the values I set for myself and have to always satisfy those values, ergo making me righteous. Does that mean I’m going to “heaven?” That’s another topic I must cover. Afterlife is a subject I have the greatest interest because it is the ony answer to all the questions.
May 7th, 2008
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