Before leaving for work, I saw on 24 Oras a report about the couple physicians from Binalbagan, Negros Occidental. Dr. Pearle Tecson Pagunsan and wife Dr. Hazel Chua Pagunsan are serving their community instead of going abroad for better wages. The Pagunsans said that there are opportunities of going abroad promising better life that’s been coming their way, but they chose to stay in Binalbagan and serve their countrymen. These are the models every Filipino should look up to and follow.
Dr. Hazel Pagunsan said that weighing the needs and and love for the work, they both chose the joy in working to help the townspeople of Binalbagan over enslaving themselves overseas for better wages. If every Filipino professional has this mindset, then the Philippines would be one step towards the betterment of the country.
I sound hypocritical given I’m overseas, don’t I? I was fourteen when I migrated to the US. A step that I’ve protested from the beginning. I never wanted to come here, but I had no choice. It was a family choice. Then what am I still doing here now that I’ve grown to have my own decision? I plan to return to the Philippines in the near future. I’m just saving for a fresh start. I don’t exactly have anything if I came back, do I? I’m being patient and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may not be bright enough to offer something for the nation, but I would be one man back.
The Pagunsans are selfless, why would someone like me who is selfish appreciate the act. To me though selfishness boils down to oneself, it does have a layer. Here, I am speaking of national selfishness where the layer is the choice of group. I’m being selfish for the group I belong to. I’m inherently contained in the group and I’m being selfish to achieve my own goals by making sure the group is successful.
What troubles me, though, is that the Pagunsans are also nurses. They took and finished nursing recently. That means they thought or still have thoughts of living the country and nursing foreigners abroad. We’ll see.
June 6th, 2008
I’m not exactly in the mood to write something non-innocuous (I’m just negating thoughtlessly here). So I finally am connected to a WiFi network and I have nothing to say except…
For the past few days, this machine has been acting up on me. Today I finally figured out why (moral of the story is to always check the error log when getting errors). After finally checking the error log, the problem is that I have no more space left. I had to empty the Recycle Bin and delete a few files that I no longer need. I only have 4GB in this machine and about 2.5 is being used by the system. Right now, 62% is used by the system, 16% used by me and 22% unused. Not much really if you think about it because the 22% is about 800MBs. It’s easily filled because I’m too lazy to use the SSD space. I have to spend time to work things out so that I have the web server and database files stationed on that SSD. I need to slim down this baby without compromising my GUIs.
Ate Loreta finally installed WP 2.5 in her site. She’s using Brinkster for hosting which is predominantly using Windows and it’s just a hassle working with Windows as the web server if you’re not configuring it. I have worked with Windows for web serving as a test site and it’s too perky. I will go with a *NIX flavored platform to serve web pages anytime. At work I’m still using Windows for web serving because they need the Frontpage capability. Such a useless technology if you ask me.
I will be adding another 1.5 line at work, I don’t know how I’d do it. i may have to expand the voice channels to full T1 and the added T1 goes to data. I’ll have to check with another tech for the complexity. I’d also be implementing BGP so that I don’t have to forward the goddamn ports to something else. By the end of the week, I’ll probably work a nigh shift to format a TS. I’m still allocating a schedule for it; been thinking about it since last night.
I’ve been programming at work whenever I have a spare time. I need to automate everything there. I can’t rely on our programmer overseas for every little thing. It sucks troubleshooting something you didn’t make because you’re working blindly. Time, time, time — I need time, but I can’t get any. I should really teach someone everything I’m doing!!!
May 20th, 2008
Yesterday I went to the festival with four colleagues. We arrived at the expo center a little after 1. There weren’t too many people. When we entered the expo, we were greeted by WU exhibitors. So fun begins. We did everything so that we each get a souvenir from WU. Then we roamed around the expo and found the MG booth. We again asked for souvenirs. The result is the photo below. These two companies are the competitors of the company we work for — that’s why it’s fun. Needless to say, we also acquired a few souvenirs from X (another competitor) later that day.
The entrance was fun, now to the show. Firstly, since it was a Filipino event, the Filipino time has to play a role. The show started an hour late, so that means we have to leave an hour late. Papa Sam (Milby) is the last performer which is at 9:30 (adjusted due to Filipino time). MYMP is to perform before him, that means we have to wait at least until 9:30 before leaving. We sat down to watch the show an hour before the bandfest which we were counting on.
The bandfest bored us to death. I almost fell asleep. Only one band got me excited and only for one song out of three that they performed. The band is called The Grudge and the song is incidentally called Hoy! Gising! Only two bands sang Filipino songs and they were the bands that didn’t advance to the finals. Judges of the contest didn’t know what they were doing. I think they weren’t so broadminded judging the talents. I confess, The Grudge didn’t know how to perform on stage, but the bands who advanced were the same and I couldn’t even make out their lyrics because their vocals are so bad. All bands weren’t original with their music that’s probably why I got bored. They will always remain in the local scene.
The festival showcased a couple of comic act. They were funny, but were rated-R. A few performances that led to MYMP were terrible because they simply are not my type.
MYMP — Make Your Mama Proud — should only perform in cafés because that is the only environment their genre can handle. I will not intentionally go to an MYMP gig again unless I’m in a restaurant having dinner and they’re playing. I’ll just listen to them on the radio because it’s better to listen than to watch them play. The performance has no life and is to be expected because again of the genre of their music. The voice of Juris is there, but I’m supposed to be watching a gig, not listening to my iPod.
In conclusion, the festival was dismal. The journey to and fro the center was fun though — tiresome for me because I was driving. We had a good chat in the car, but what happened with Papa Sam stays with Papa Sam.
May 18th, 2008
Taken from We The Living, Chapter 9:
“Do you believe in God, Andrei?”
“No.”
“Neither do I. But that’s a favorite question of mine. An upside-down question, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if I asked people whether they believed in life, they’d never understand what I meant. It’s a bad question. It can mean so much that it really means nothing. So I ask them if they believe in God. And if they say they do — then, I know they don’t believe in life.”
“Why?”
“Because you see, God — whatever anyone chooses to call God — is one’s highest conception of the highest possible. And whoever places his highest conception above his own possibility thinks very little of himself and his life. It’s a rare gift, you know, to feel reverence for your own life and to want the best, the greatest, the highest possible, here, now, for your very own. To imagine a heaven and then not to dream of it, but to demand it.”
“You’re a strange girl.”
“You see, you and I, we believe in life. But you want to fight for it, to kill for it, even to die — for life. I only want to live it.”
I always believe that satisfying oneself now should be the only task a man should have. Also, the task may be acted upon in any way he sees fit. That is living the life for me.
May 13th, 2008
There is a universal law governing our daily lives. That law is the concept of right and wrong. We live our daily lives trying to be a better person by doing what is right. We navigate our lives toward righteousness. The question is “what is right and what is wrong?” Furthermore, “who decides what is right and what is wrong?” I will attempt to put my logic into words and the values I set to myself. Beware of the absurdity I may induce.
What is right and what is wrong is relative to who decides them. Therefore, the questions I posed should be contracted into one because one can’t be answered without touching the other. It is us who decides what is right and what is wrong based on the values we set to ourselves. If I value differently compared to another, my sense of what is right could be wrong to another. Preserving your values makes that act of preservation right.
A value is something (an object, emotion, etc.) that satisfies the happiness of man or guides the man’s pursuit of happiness. An individual is defined by the value he sets to himself. That is why having people in one place is never peaceful. They vary their values and thus create conflicts. Naturally speaking, man lives for himself. Think about your priorities; it always simplifies to I. A very good example would be a competition. I would cheer for a group where I belong, then I would cheer to who is closer to me, then to the closest and eventually I would cheer for myself against the rest.
Righteousness is always related to its host. Let’s say that man values an object that he doesn’t have, but another has it. The object is of critical significance towards attaining man’s happiness. However, the only way to acquire that object is by taking possession of it from another – assuming it is very rare to find because it’s only one of its kind. To man acquiring that object from another is a path to righteousness because by acquiring that object would yield to his happiness.
On the other hand, the other would see man’s action as wrong because to him that is theft. So here, we see one act perceived differently by different entities. Unfortunately for man, society is governed. The state of nature is controlled. His act would be branded as wrong. A man’s happiness is constrained by society. Again, my view on society’s direct denial of man’s eternal bliss is shown here. Man should be an island.
Religion exists based on the concept of right and wrong. If you live your life righteously, then you would go to an afterlife where everything is beautiful, otherwise you go to an afterlife of eternal suffrage. unlike most of the people, I believe I have neither a sin nor have sinned. I live my life according to the values I set for myself and have to always satisfy those values, ergo making me righteous. Does that mean I’m going to “heaven?” That’s another topic I must cover. Afterlife is a subject I have the greatest interest because it is the ony answer to all the questions.
May 7th, 2008
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