Posts filed under 'Biography'
Did something ever occur to you where you’ve said something and you wish you did not say it because it will open a discussion, only that discussion should and must not proceed? Well, it happens to me all the time because of my nature. First off, there are two kinds of me - simpleton and enigmatic. Each kind corresponds to a person’s level of acquaintance with me. I’m a simpleton towards a person if that person is familiar or intimate with me. I am transparent towards that person. Otherwise, I’m a complete enigma. For the sake of this entry, I will be referring to my simpleton self.
The wife and I chatted online, catching up on things. Towards the end when the session was about to end, she asked a question based on her observations of how I speak over the phone, talk online, etc. She can analyze me pretty well - quite a feat of her I must say. She knows how I would express certain things through speech patterns and tones. I guess that’s because we’re the same. There’s no escaping so I answered honestly. Then came the follow up question that MUST always supersede that former question. The answer to the follow up question she posed is of highest significance to complete the thought of my answer to the first question, otherwise it would be dangling. Well, you guessed it. I did not answer the follow up question.
I have a dilemma. I’m troubled. Not answering the follow up question definitely breaks the concept of “open to each other.” I feel guilty. The thing is that I probably would bring the answer to my grave, unless she can completely read my mind. Only I, alone, know the answer to the question. To meet halfway with her (I probably gave her more headaches with it), I encrypted the word (only one word answers the question) using SHA-256 and gave the encrypted string as the answer. A simple brute force decryption would solve the mystery. I couldn’t resist her so I had to tell her. I’m relieved.
Last edited by aovaron on May 11, 2008 at 8:52 AM
May 11th, 2008
For the aches and pains I’ve caused. For the time not shared. For the longing felt. For the doubts I’ve thought. For the weakness I’ve hinted. For the anger not shown. For the offense I may have committed. To the wife, I’m sorry.
April 28th, 2008
While I was watching the opening for Eat Bulaga! today, I was reminded of my high school days back in the Philippines. Back then, we had a subject wherein we did skits every Fridays on a given topic. It’s a civics class, so the topics relate to morals and ethics. But that’s not the point of this entry.
How did EB’s opening remind me of those years? Well, for me Wally Bayola of the duo Jose & Wally is really funny and talented, but for the love of __the_name_of_your_Almighty__ he needs to take his assignments seriously. Today, he & Jose performed together with Jeepney Joyride and I swear Wally was just moving his lips not knowing the lyrics of the song. It’s not the first time either. Every time he sings he doesn’t know the lyrics of the song. It’s a live band so there’s no way he can lip-sync. In dancing, I know he’s good at it, but it seems he never practices the steps. In skits, he forgets what he’s supposed to do. It’s been going on for years and this really makes his talent go to waste. And I like him over Jose.
Still how did it remind me of those years? When we’re doing our skits, we often forget our lines and reminding me of those years is just fascinating. It was just like yesterday and now we are all over the world with some of us having families already. It’s amazing how time goes and reminds us of what happened. We did plenty in those years. We did a concert using primitive instruments which our ancestors used way back before the Spaniards colonized us. I never had that experience when I went to high school in New York. I even joined a pageant in my Freshmen year. We only had about 12 boys in our section and we all had to join or else we fail. Now that I think of it, if I had the knowledge I have now, I would have gotten out of that show easily. I hope this entry doesn’t remind someone to search their albums for pictures of the event because it will be a freakin’ nightmare for all of us.
What’s the moral of my story? If you are given a task, be prepared. If you are forced to do extra-curricular activities and is threatened to be failed if you did not join, sue them. That’s why it’s called extra-curricular because it’s not mandatory – not part of the curriculum. Everytime I remember that event, it drives me nuts. I can still remember my outfit, my talent, etc. I’m pathetic as always.
April 22nd, 2008
Okay, before the night passes, let me make an entry. I won’t be commenting on a subject because I’ve realized that I’ve been onto a single subject and that’s the movies. I should get out more… Soon, that time will come [my dear once-in-a-blue-moon reader should know]. Anyway, I’ll record my day so that I can compare it with my gloomy Sunday last week.
When I was half awake at around 6AM, I sent a text message to the wife. Just letting her know I’m alive and kicking and of course how much I miss her [senti]. Then I went back to sleep. A couple of hours later, I woke up for good and finished the movie I was watching last night - “Nomad (The Warrior)”. Afterwards, I checked my email and the usual stuff I do online. I cooked some instant noodles for a brunch to fill my hungry stomach, washed the dishes and took a shower. I then went to the corner store to buy four (4) bottles of Yoohoo - it’s my latest addiction. I’m surprised it doesn’t give me the loose bowel movement (wow, I dared write it). Went back home and watched a Korean movie called “The Restless” - awesome! Then I watched the Yankee game against the O’s. I’m very superstitious when it comes to my sports team, so everytime Andy pitches, I didn’t watch. Rather, I tried to put myself to sleep. The result? Andy was perfect through the fifth inning. Anyway, the Yanks eventually won - finally! I waited for my father so that I can take the van to the movie theater. I was so hungry that I went out again to the Filipino store to get some food. When I came back my father arrived. I ate quickly and left for the 5:30 show. It was the “Forbidden Kingdom” which is horrible. If you care for your ten bucks, don’t watch it. After that I went home and chowed down some junks.
That’s about it for today…nothing interesting, but at least not gloomy.
April 20th, 2008
I was watching “High Fidelity” and I thought about confessing something. The reason why I started collecting CDs is because I wanted to have a soundtrack of my life. As of this moment, I have not picked one, not even a track. There is no way I can choose the tracks that will narrate the moments in my life with my ongoing collection. Rob Gordon (John Cusack) had about tenfolds more records than I do and I’m very particular with the genre I listen to. I have no variety, thus my choices are thin. I’m full of rage inside, yet I can’t listen to a raging music. I listen to the Manics because I love the melodies they make and I love the revolution they make, but I hate the message. I enjoy the act, not the substance. I listen to Travis because they look cool, like some songs, but mostly hate the style because it’s too gloomy for me. I listen to Stereophonics because the music rocks, but I can’t relate to the words because they are all stories. I listen to Oasis because they’re just fooking badass. I listen to the Cranberries because I love the music, but I can’t relate. I listen to the Corrs because they influenced me in so many things especially the love for music. I listen to hundreds of bands and artists in the alternative scene, but I never listened to a record that describes me.
April 19th, 2008
Sunday. Boredom struck me. I was in the verge of depression - I may as well have been. I tried to sleep it off, but I can’t. My eyes are being pulled inside, yet I can’t keep them closed. Thoughts are empty, yet I feel tireless. I wanted to get out and watch a movie, but nothing is worth watching these past few weeks. Rented movies are too depressing and mind boggling. My mind’s not in the mood to think. Nothing on TV worth watching. Nobody worth talking to. I can’t write. Paranoid. I felt like ending.
My day didn’t start that way. When I woke up, I watched “Shoot ‘Em Up” on DVD which is action-packed. Then I had a light lunch and went to a car dealer with my father. The car was there, but nobody was available to appraise the van for trade-in. I’ll be back Wednesday morning and hopefully get it done quick. When we got back, I went grocery shopping because supply was low. Only it was after I got back from grocery shopping that time went so very slow I was actually wishing it was Monday the next hour. If everyone doesn’t want a Monday morning to arrive, I wished for it. What caused this? I very much know the cause. For anyone out there, if you can, avoid long distance relationship. It’s not healthy for you. I can fully control my emotions that’s why I’m still alive and breathing. If I was weak and have no self control, I would be messier now.
April 14th, 2008
What’s so good about a long distance relationship that I’m always caught up in it? Honestly speaking, it’s not at all fabulous. There’s too much tension between partner, expensive and longing is at maximum. What’s worst is if you meet for a few days or a few weeks, by the time you separate again, the longing reaches a new maximum.
Missing someone special in your life is easily forgotten if you keep yourself busy. If I’m working, I forget that lonely feeling, but of course she’s still on my mind. However, it is at my idle that is tormenting. On weekends waking up with only the thought of her is not enough because I know I have to fill the rest of my day alone. The torment becomes more serious especially if a thought that in the near future I still won’t be with her. Over and over again, I feel or rather I think like I would leave everything and fly back to her and start life anew there. It’s my realistic side that’s stopping me. I know time will come that Mai & I will be together as one, close as ever. It’s just a matter of time and a whole lot of patience from the both of us.
Long live to the both of us, Mai! Hold on tight… All the thoughts on you and the future. This charade will soon end and a true beginning shall start.
April 6th, 2008
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